Matthew 9: 37-38 "Then he said to his disciples, "The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few; therefore ask the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into his harvest."
Mark 10: 14-15 "But when Jesus saw this, he was indignant and said to them, "Let the little children come to me; do not stop them; for it is to such as these that the kingdom of God belongs. Truly I tell you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God as a little child will never enter it."
Yes, I said that when I got home I would tell you about Northwestern. And I will. But there's something so much more important on my heart at this time! It concerns the mission trip I just took to Memphis, TN, and so much more. I want to share with you what God has been telling me and leading me towards. So, I'm actually going to start this story a few months back. Perhaps April or March. This is the first time I'm truly opening up and voicing these feelings, so you should feel pretty special!
I've wanted to do a lot of things when I grow up. I've wanted to be an actress, singer, writer, psychologist, marine biologist, journalist, photographer, director-- the list goes on and on. But a few months ago, I started getting this feeling. Not an uneasy feeling; just an unsatisfying one. It wasn't about what I was doing at the time, rather about my plans for the future. I started to feel that I would never be satisfied if I was not doing God's work. Now, this didn't worry me; it was just a completely different direction.
Then, I got bad news. Something I really haven't talked about. Camp Ondessonk informed me that I wasn't hired for the summer. I was devastated. My mom asked if I wanted to pray about it, and she said that God probably had something else in store for me this summer. I wanted to believe that that was true, but I couldn't see any benefits of not being hired. I didn't get mad at God, but I didn't pray with her. I was too sad, and I foolishly didn't go to Him for comfort and advice.
Over the course of a few weeks, I got to the point where I could not think about camp. It still made me extremely sad when I did, but I could mostly ignore the thoughts. Keep in mind that I was still developing that dissatisfied feeling mentioned earlier. At this point, there were a couple of little clues that led me towards what God was wanting me to open my eyes to. I saw the movie The Blind Side (a rich, southern woman takes in an extremely athletic, teenage boy from the projects in Memphis and is able to provide him with a future), and it was very inspiring to me! But the boy, Michael, was not the only person who inspired me. The character Leigh Anne, the mother who adopted Michael, really left an impression on me. Her unconditional love and the way she did her Christian duty are things that I want to incorporate in my life at all times. It made me think that one day, I might want to adopt children and help children who are living in poor neighborhoods and countries. The next influence was a book, The Kite Runner. It was a sad, but hopeful, book. The sadness and horrible things that happened to mere children in that book really touched my heart and tore me apart. Again, I thought that I should help children. Not like teaching or social work, but mission work.
Now, you may see where the problem in these clues lie. I was unsure that they were really messages from God, because they were in movies and books. I always get hung up on movies and books. Heck, I'd like to go to Hogwarts, but that's certainly not a calling from God! So no, I was not denying God; I just wanted to be sure.
How to be sure? Well, this is where the mission trip comes in. As you may or may not have known before reading this post, last week (Sunday through Friday) I was in Memphis, TN with my youth group. We were working with Street Reach Ministries. Street Reach is run by a church in a bad area of Memphis, Brinkley Heights. The people at this church have huge hearts and are only concerned to help people and do God's work. Basically, they have 8 sites set up around the area for Bible Clubs. These clubs go from 10-12:30 on Mondays-Fridays, and youth groups from all around the country come each week to take on one or more sites, running the Bible Club. Our own group took two sites, Whittier and Kendrick (based on street names that these lots were on). Our kids split up, but my music partners and I went to both sites so we could all do music with both groups. Each day, you have to walk around the streets and knock on doors to ask people if they will let their kids come to Bible Club. And these kids are allowed to (one of the biggest culture shocks I noticed), even if the parents haven't heard of Street Reach before. But it is so important for these kids to come. You see, this is what I learned about children who may have uncaring parents or nowhere to sleep; all they want, the only thing they want, is love. Wow. You have to really think about that. I mean, we take so much for granted. We know that we have parents and siblings and friends who love us; we worry about having the newest, nicest clothes and technology. We know that there is food at home, where as some of these kids come to Bible Club because of the free lunch they receive. We know that we live in a nice neighborhood and can sleep peacefully at night, while these children, some as young as 3 or 4, are roaming the streets in the middle of the night, looking for their mother. Love, the most important thing in the world, is taken for granted by us.
I probably need to make a long story short, because this post is already insanely long. I fell in love with these kids the moment I met them. Every one of them, because they are innocent and starving for love. How could I not love them? And last week is when I finally felt completely confident that God is calling me to do His work with my life. Because it's not about me; it's about all His children. He loves all of us equally and without exceptions. So that's what I want to do with my life; I want to spread God's love to the world, particularly children. I'm not sure what exactly I will do, but I still have a lot of time to figure it out, and I'm praying for God to keep guiding me. I feel brand new now. I've had Jesus Christ in my heart, but now I have actually accepted to live my life for Him, in all ways.
It comes down to love. Because when you love those kids, those kids who are starving for love, when you share God's love with them, their face lights up. And that is literally the best feeling in the world.
Here's a Street Reach slideshow from the week we were there:
