Saturday, June 26, 2010

Check In

I have officially gone on my first college visit! I toured Northwestern yesterday, and I can't wait to tell you all about it-- but I can't. This is my one day home between the visit and my mission trip to Memphis! So I unfortunately don't have time to write a whole long post about the experience. I'm sorry, but I am going to keep you in suspense for about a week.
Did she like it, or not?!?!

Also, if you haven't commented on my previous post, I would love hearing what you think. Thanks!

Monday, June 21, 2010

To be, or not to be

That is the question! A question that has been starting to be present in my thoughts at all times. Well, not that question specifically. It was just a clever post title. Really, I'm debating my involvement in drama club. SHOCKING, I know. I haven't shared this thought with anyone yet, so what better place to vent about it then my blog?

Now, the main reason I'm considering not auditioning for one or both of the shows is because of the time commitment involved in drama club. There was a time, in 8th grade, that I seriously wanted to sing and act on Broadway. Of course, that would still be an amazing thing to be able to do. But let's get real; it would be extremely difficult to be cast in a Broadway show, and more importantly, I want to have a family some day. Being an actress is not exactly the job I want when I'm raising kids, and I wouldn't want to live in New York. And once I started high school, I realized something that I couldn't in middle school; that my love for music and my love for theatre are two completely different things. In middle school, they were kind of grouped together. Now I know that music is the more important one, the thing I will never let go of. Something I might really want to pursue in college. I still love theatre, I really do; but it's just something I love to do for fun now. It's not necessarily something I need in my life.

This all relates to the time commitment issue in the way that I don't know if I want to spend SO much time on something that's more of a hobby. I also can't afford to do badly in school just because I don't have a lot of time to do my homework. If I didn't do drama club, I could do so much better on homework and papers and tests, I could look in to other clubs that I can’t do with rehearsal every day after school until 5:00, and I could focus more on my endeavors in music. I also get extremely stressed out during the school year, sometimes to the point of me breaking down crying. I don’t know if I can explain to you just how much more time I would have without drama club. It is a ridiculous amount of time. I can do homework, exercise, watch TV, take a nap, and still have a few hours left before it’s time to hit the hay. It is truly wonderful. And if I were to quit drama, I would still stay involved through publicity; a fun branch of drama club that only meets once a week, and I have a lot of close friends who do it.

That’s another thing about drama; the friendships. I certainly do have friends in drama, and I do have a great time; I don’t want you to worry about that. But unlike some people in drama, drama club is not my life. My best friends are not involved in drama (like I said, some are in publicity, but my group of close girlfriends are diverse; we have athletes, musicians, brains, etc.) and I spend my free time with them, not the drama kids. This sometimes makes me feel disconnected to the drama club kids.

I say all this, but it would be extremely hard for me to quit drama. I really do love it, and I have great experiences with the shows and people involved. I’m also worried about becoming lazy; at least drama keeps me busy, which is better than having nothing to do. And although music is my passion, I honestly adore being on stage, getting in costume, dancing in character, creeping backstage. All of it.

So what’s a girl to do?

Sunday, June 6, 2010

A New Journey

So, my friends, here we are again. Back to the good old days of blogging. I hope you will forgive my absence and give me one more try. For you see, I now have a more specific purpose for blogging. In a few weeks, I am going on my first college visit. I'm going to Northwestern University, and I couldn't be more excited. I'm also starting my junior year of high school in a few months, which, in my eyes, is the year where it all gets serious (not that I haven't been working hard up to this point, of course). I will be looking for colleges, preparing for my ACTs, and taking almost all honors classes. On top of all that, next month I'll be driving and in November I'm turning 17... it's crazy how quickly I'm growing up! I am highly aware of how fast time flies by, and I feel a sudden urge to document my life. So yes, this will be similar to my old blogs. But now I have a focus; I specifically want to chronicle my journey through college visits, school experiences, and major life changes. As Ferris Bueller said, "Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." I don't want you, my loving family, to miss out on a single thing.

Now, I need to address two things.

First, my muse. I have to say that I was going to start writing in a private journal to document these next few months, years, whatever. But what good is that? I wouldn't keep up with it, and nobody else could read it. Well, just as all these thoughts of growing up were really starting to take up all the extra space in my head (which is quite a lot, now that school is over) I read my cousin Marianne's blog. Particularly her literature blog. And goodness, was I impressed! She writes beautifully. As soon as I read her blogs, I knew what I had to do. I had to start blogging for myself (again).

And lastly, I must explain the title of this blog. The Narrow Gate is derived from scripture, Matthew 7: 13-14:

"Enter through the narrow gate; for the gate is wide and the road is easy that leads to destruction, and there are many who take it. For the gate is narrow and the road is hard that leads to life, and there are few that find it."

I love that. It really speaks to me. Ever since I read this in the Bible, I have tried to live by it. And I think it makes perfect sense for this blog. You see, this blog is all about me growing up and finding my place in the world. I am constantly thinking about college and jobs, but more than anything, my goal is to live like Jesus and do God's will. I know He will lead me in the right direction, and I am willing to take the narrow gate in order to do my Christian duty above all else. In doing this, I know I can count myself as part of the few who find life.