The cold of winter has again descended upon us. Well, probably not as much for most of my readers. But up here in Illinois, it's quite cold! It even snowed on Thanksgiving. Winter is pretty hard for me. I become much more depressed and tired, and keeping up with all my work has definitely become more challenging for me. This last week I had school off except for Monday, and I think it really helped rejuvenate me, but I'm definitely ready to get back into a routine! Even though I'm stressed with all the different commitments that come with the holidays, I'm going to try to rely completely on the Lord for my strength during December and strive to make it to Christmas in one piece.
So, again, I haven't been blogging not because I forgot, but because nothing too exciting is happening in my life. Next semester I will begin prepping for the ACTs (something I've been trying not to think about) and I think we've decided to hold off most college visits until next summer, although I will probably look into scheduling one or two. My grades are fabulous. I have all As and I couldn't be more pleased with how I'm doing. I guess I'm always afraid that they will start going downhill, though. Not auditioning for Starmites was a good choice, but it was hard once the show came around. I remembered how much fun I have in drama club, and everybody said they missed me. So I've decided I will audition for Hairspray. I mean, I've done so well this semester, I think I can handle the pressure of the show. There have been weeks where I had absolutely too much time on my hands after school. And I've already finished my research paper with an A. I think it will all work out fine. I really can't wait for auditions!
There are two main things I need to discuss, and I've already touched on the first one. My depression, tiredness, and business have inevitably had an effect on the passion and spark I felt for God and my purpose in life in the summer. I'm not having doubts or anything, it just really bums me out that I'm letting myself slip away from the intimate relationship I have with God. I know it happens to the best of people, but I am really wanting to throw myself into prayer and worship to have God show me what I need to do. This is somehow easier said than done, however. After all the things I have to do every day or in the early morning before I start getting ready, I'm usually too tired to really pay attention to the scriptures I'm reading or the prayers I'm saying. This will cause me to be unfocused on God throughout the whole day, which is not what I want. I simply want to get back to being completely devoted to God. As I said, this happens to everybody. Any tips on how I can always make my time for prayer and devotional reading during the day meaningful? I can't rely solely on Sundays and Wednesday nights. I am going to start using The Upper Room devotionals, which I really think will help me, to have a specific message and thought to muse on. But I'm open to anything!
The other thing I've been thinking about actually has to do with the vision God is giving me for my future (I'm not completely disconnected from Jesus, I don't want you to get the wrong idea! It's just been so different than this summer, which was life changing). I've been planning on possibly double majoring in music and psychology or whatever I think will best help me do God's work with children. I wanted at first to include music simply because I'm passionate about it and don't want to stop studying it, but I've been wondering if I shouldn't include music in my mission. It's just food for thought. But music has the ability to change lives, and it's definitely a gift the Lord has given me; why not use the gift to change the lives of children? I sure hope I can.
